Confronting Family Problems While Raising Children

From becoming pregnant to effectively handling the stages of childhood and even keeping your marriage together through it all, being a parent today is a full time occupation. Of all the vocations in the world, none are as challenging or as gratifying as raising a family. The journey is one of self discovery and personal growth. The lessons learned are some of the most important you will experience. The heartaches come, as do the blessings. In the event you survive through your family problems, you'll earn a sense of satisfaction unlike anything you could possibly imagine.

Women of all ages struggle with getting pregnant. For some, a pregnancy could be unplanned. For others, pregnancy is really a miracle. Some women have trouble with carrying the baby to term. 1 in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Even more have problems with infertility. Tubal obstructions, endometriosis, uterine fibroids, and ovarian cysts are all reasons for infertility in women. Overcoming infertility is usually an expensive, time consuming challenge. It is getting to be more and more rare to find a normal pregnancy where everything transpired from start to finish as it was planned, if it was even planned at all. Yet in the end, no matter how they get here, there is a reason babies are referred to as a "bundle of joy."

Once the baby is born, especially a first baby, parents often find themselves overwhelmed and underprepared. The unknown is always frightening and nothing is more so than a brand new baby. Their life is in your hands and you realize you have no idea what you're doing. The colic, the diaper rash, the crying, and worrying about the terrifying Sudden Infant Death Syndrome will give a new parent quite a few sleepless nights. In addition to all the worrying, newborns rarely sleep through the night. You can frequently tell a new parent by the sleepless zombie gaze.

Sooner or later you develop a routine with your baby and get to know its wants and needs. All that is about to change. As your youngster becomes mobile, they progress into the toddler stage. Initially this is an exhilarating time. New parents get thrilled about the baby's initial steps and the real words the baby starts using. And then your toddler learns the one word that will alter their life and yours - no. This is their initial taste of free will, and boy do they choose to use it.

This can be an intensely stressful time for parents. Temper tantrums, fits, along with refusing to cooperate are how the word "terrible" became attached to the word "twos." The terrible twos are generally when boundaries are first recognized. Patiently learning communication skills will be your most valuable asset in getting through these family problems. Once they've settled into their boundaries, the toddler years turn out to be an exciting time of discovery. As a parent, you'll get to see the world again through the eyes of your child.

As the child develops, you will notice that they imitate things around them. They'll act like characters from books and TV. They will pretend to talk on the phone and say the exact things you do. Conversation skills improve. And somewhere around age 8, they begin seeking their own independence. It is not that they're attempting to break away from you (that comes later on in the teen years). What they're truly attempting to accomplish is define who they are. This is a critical time for a parent to determine when to and when not to enforce boundaries. Obviously you want to safeguard your child. Nevertheless, at this point they have to be permitted to make their own mistakes so they can start to learn how to take care of them. They also have to learn to be accountable for their own actions.

By the time your child reaches the teenage years, if you haven't previously invested in some form of parenting education it's time to begin. Once they hit the teenage years, your child has the reasoning skills of an adult without the life experience to back it up. That could make for a challenging time for both the child and the parent. It is not uncommon for a sweet and loving child to grow into an abusive child when they get to the stage when hormones rage rampantly and social pressures put them into a position to make difficult decisions without the experience to back them up. They will have emotions that they don't know how to express or control. You'll be able to help them through this time, but you might use some help yourself. With some patience and a bit of understanding, your child can ultimately grow up and you can look back with that sense of satisfaction described earlier.

From the time the child comes into the world until the time they will be considered an adult, you are their primary role model. "Do as I say, not as I do," is not something you are going to find in any book on parenting. It can make us responsible for our actions, just as we expect our children to be. Having children can make you want to become a better person. Overcoming the challenges of raising children and handling family problems builds your own self-confidence. You give so much to your children over the years. If you are paying attention, they're giving back to you as well.

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